On Receiving a Package
And why I’m better than Mary Jane Prairie
Receiving something in the mail other than items bound for the trash bin is a most delightful thing. I know roughly what time the USPS, UPS, and Fedex drivers rumble down my country driveway to deposit a package into my waiting hands (or, regrettably, drop it on an ant pile at the front of the property). Indeed, the metallic racket produced by the boxy vehicles traversing the short road punished by time and a lack of stonework triggers excitement at what gifts may be on their way.
Perhaps that connects me to people in the past, before the age of instantaneous instant gratification, before the invisible forces of our data was unleashed, revealing desires we couldn’t have previously imagined. It was different, though, surely. While I see the post woman every day, Mary Jane Prairie might have seen her rarely. Still, the rumbling sound of their approach was likely similar, and the feeling of excitement surely was (I can’t imagine there have been many innovations in excitement in the last couple hundred years).
“we’ve gained the ability to surprise ourselves!”
It seems that I am the better off, though. One of the core tenants of modernity, especially in the west and particularly in the US, is that more is better. I have more mail, therefore I am better. Does it matter that a good portion of it is “junk”? Would it be wrong to complain about that part of more?
And if we did, what would we say? Does more junk mail dilute the joy of the package I receive? I argue it heightens it! While Mary Jane Prairie knows there is something worth having in her post box, I, on the other hand, must search each day in hopes of something worthy of the effort. That added toil, the work and frustration and drudgery and anger at the uselessness of it all – does that not heighten the joy of receiving a bundle of novelty?
Furthermore, junk mail isn’t all that bad. One becomes numb to it after a time, much like a Mary Jane Prairie grows callouses on the thumb and forefinger of her sewing hand. Often junk mail can pile up in a corner or atop an underused desk – I argue that is purpose! If nothing else, it forces us to walk to the mailbox each day, and if you were to challenge yourself a bit, you may find further uses. Junk mail is excellent kindling, envelopes are famously good for quick calculations, and there are numerous origami patters for a standard #10 envelope or 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper with or without glossy finish.
However, there are more ways in which my more is superior to Mary Jane Prairie’s less.
One must wonder if there were less impulsivity in the past or simply less ability to act upon it in meaningful ways. Today, there is practically no limit. Argue what you will about the value of that picadillo of modernity, it has one amazing benefit – we’ve gained the ability to surprise ourselves!
What a wonder!
There are so many ways to purchase something spur of the moment, forget that you have done so (if the act even registered to begin with), and later have your own personal Christmas morning. Tell me, could Marry Jane Prairie have dreamed of being both Santa and the child on his lap? I doubt it. Not without a head injury. And that’s before we consider whether she could even afford a turbo orange “summerween” flamingo floating drink holster (only 7.99 plus tax).
For each person to have such power in their hands was unthinkable to the dullards of the past who couldn’t even conceive of summerween. Can you imagine having to repair your clothing? Or, god forbid, make them? Perish the thought. No, our clothes are far better as well. We have more clothes (obviously) and as an added benefit they wear down quickly allowing us the opportunity to buy even more!
We truly live in a wonderful time filled with unquenchable desire. Throughout all history, perhaps all of time, there has never been a better time to want things. If humanity’s goal is legacy, consider future archeologists uncovering our massive fulfillment warehouses and dumps. Many of the items within will be complete and barely touched by the passing of time – allowing those archeologists to experience a modicum of what we get when the post woman arrives. Perhaps someday our pets will be able to order things, or even our appliances.
One can only dream of such a perfect world.
Now, you magnificent modern being, pour yourself a large class of alcohol and order a solar powered self-warming coffee mug, 200 plastic crawfish, a summerween pumpkin bathing suit, and a 50 pack of rechargeable disposable AA batteries.
Make that walk to the post box worth it.
From the Rift,
Thanks for Reading!
Prefer to listen? Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or using the RSS feed
